Women Love Gentlemen...

Yes, believe it or not, they do. But note that I said women. Alot of guys complain about the nice guy losing out or women wanting the bad boy...but that's generally young women. Girls. If women didn't love gentlemen, Twilight would only be popular with the teens and Jacob would have won Bella. But it's Edward that women over 25 drool over.

It's not just in fantasies and fiction. A friend mentioned to me today how wonderful a guy was because he'd been so quick to help save a woman's ego when another woman was intent on making her feel small in front of him. He'd become the talk of the party and afterward, although he probably never knew. You see, Woman A, who was on the attack, pointed out in front of this very handsome guy (who woman B just met) that woman B had gained a significant amount of weight with her baby some time before. To woman B's horror, woman A had the gall to tell exactly how many pounds (over seventy) she'd gained. The guy simply patted woman B on the arm and told her how fabulous she looks now.

This got me to thinking. What exactly was it that Mr. Right did to make all the women who'd heard about it swoon? It's simple enough. The guy, who seemed interested enough in woman B, a woman he'd just met, just pulled her out of a sticky situation by telling her she was beautiful when another woman tried to show how fat she had been to said guy--instantly throwing woman B a lifeline and deflecting woman A's attack on her ego. He defended her in a very subtle, but very noticeable way.

Call me old fashioned, but it's clear to me that chivalry is isn't even limping.
There just isn't enough of this going around. Too often, especially in long relationships or marriage, one person has seen the worst of the other and goes along with talk of (or worse--points out) mistakes or faults in the person he's with. While it might be something small or even funny to the one who is "only joking" with friends and/or family...it's the ultimate slap in the face. Bringing up another person's faults for a laugh is making a joke at the other person's expense. When that person making the joke is the spouse or significant other of the butt of said joke, it also undermines self-esteem and the relationship as a whole. Over time, these tiny stabs build up to one significant wound that breeds resentment, hurt, and anger. After that, ten compliments will never outweigh the one remark about a woman's weight, appearance, personality, or other fault. In fact, compliments given after the fault has been used for public humiliation will only be seen as lies, compounding the hurt.

There are simply times when being a gentleman and throwing a woman a lifeline in public will win you everything--especially if another woman is the one downing the woman you're with. So, the next time you hear or see someone picking at a fault of the woman you're with, take up for her: give her an immediate compliment or smile and tell her how much you love that about her (as long as it's true). You don't have to be confrontational, just let her know that you're on her side...and do it in front of the other people. It's taking a clear stand without being rude. Not only will the other person realize that their jokes are in bad taste, you'll score major brownie points with the woman!